The Art of the Insult

Presently I am updating this blog, adding pictures, and updating my list of 99 (yes, there is an update by Mr. Gold but more on that later). One of the things I have been trying to do is introduce some other interests in my life to the blog without losing the overall goal of dining and dating but I have found that it is just impossible to write every day or other day about food. As much as I like “Top Chef,” I am not sure I want to write reviews about it each Thursday or to write about the latest restaurant opening by Wolfgang Puck. The passion just isn’t there. But the passion is there for the great restaurants so I will do a better job keeping up with them. But I am also passionate about great writing and there is nothing more interesting than a great insult, delivered with precision by a master writer.
Insult as Art
Have you had the pleasure of reading a lot of great insults? When I teach English to high school students, I encourage them to keep the curses out of the classroom. The “f word,” the “b word,” and the “c word,” (all the c words) have lost their overall impact because they have been used and re-used and abused to the ground. How often do people have to use the word a-hole before they realize the word is meaningless? I have discovered some great insults in literature that might arouse some form of alternative to the curse word. We read insults not because we want to arm ourselves against the cruel boss, the insensitive girl friend, or the pretentious cad in the work cafeteria. We read them because it’s just plain funny. And maybe it will bridge some people in the realm of some great artists. The first in this series comes from Murakami in his book The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. Noburu Wataya is telling his brother-in-law Okada that it was a mistake to marry his sister. Enjoy:

"From the first day I met you, I knew better than to hope you might amount to anything. I saw no sign of promise, nothing in you that suggested you might accomplish something worthwhile or ever turn yourself into a respectable human being: nothing there to shine or to shed light on anything. I knew whatever you set your hand to would end up half-baked, that you would never see anything through to the end. And I was right. You have been married to my sister for six years, and what have you done in all that time? Nothing, right? All that you’ve accomplished in six long years is to quit your job and ruin Kumiko’s life. Now you’re out of work and you have no plans for the future. There’s nothing inside that head of yours but garbage and rocks.”

But other than that, Wataya thinks he’s good match for his sister.