Where the Cops Are

If you want to know where you can get a decent burger at midnight, ask that cop sitting by his car. It’s a little known fact that cops know all the good joints and if you can’t think of one good thing about a cop I’ve finally given you one. Cops smell out the best pastrami, burgers, dogs, and steaks in the neighborhood. Remember now, they practically own the hood, especially late at night when most of us have gone to sleep. Whenever I’m scouting a new location for posole I like to see if a squad car is parked in front of the place before I venture in. I’ve discovered some real finds here, folks. Garduno’s is popular in Montebello, and, while it is not exactly gourmet food, I still haven’t found a better soft tostada. I once went up to a cop in East LA, threw up my hands in frustration and said, “where can a guy get a decent sandwich in this crime-ridden, God forsaken city!” and, while he didn’t appreciate my dramatics, pointed out Nick’s Paradise on Beverly. This place has a good pork chop and a really good gyro. What, you don’t like gyros? Good, more for me and more for the cops. If you’re on parole or one step ahead of an ethics violation or indictment, you’d best avoid Nick’s Paradise. I mean, A LOT of cops go there. Try Tom’s Jr. on Long Beach Boulevard in Lynwood. You cannot, I repeat not, get a better breakfast at such a low price. The French toast, eggs, bacon, and drink for 5 smackers never gets old. The huevos rancheros make me sing of Vicente Fernandez (and dream of Shakira). If you find yourself in South Gate, Tierra Mia seems to be the spot for coffee drinking law enforcement personnel. Again, don’t let that scare you. They’re in, they’re out, and what you will have is some of the best, strongest, and mind-numbingly flavorful cups of coffee you’ll ever taste. I suggest the Cubana, or the Mexican chocolate mochas, or the cocomochas. Oh, heck, everything is good. Just don’t double park.

*It's good to see my brother Cris feeling better and getting ready to leave the hospital. He gave me encouragment to write this blog and thought the idea of food and dating would be a seamless combination. By the way, if you think I'm a flirt from reading these posts, you should have seen him talking to some of the nurses at USC-Keck medical. Unbelievable. I'm a piker compared to him.